Could I huh???

I would like to meet the individual that created one of my daily med's.  Now I ask you, who in their everlovin' mind would pick a triangular shape for such  a big ass pill????  It is  as bitter as gall and consistantly hangs up in my throat. That bitterness remains for atleast 15 minutes no matter what beverage I consume.

I  am simply asking a favor of the universe , a special dispensation if you will.  Could I please just this once squeeze his little testicles.....nice and tight?